Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
