using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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