all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
