She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
