oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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