I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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