Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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