he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
