shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
another moral hangover. fuck.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
ttyl tear gas
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
