its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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