last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
