he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
