Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My pussy is not your playground.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
