Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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