Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
sarcasm needs its own font
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
