tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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