I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
vagina is talking i cant
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
