they need to just BURY HIM!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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