His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
