Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize