it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
