We need to rekindle our bromance
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
