Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
