I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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