just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
