We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
