New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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