i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
