Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
3pm strippers are depressing
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
