Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
