I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
