Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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