i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
