I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize