I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
