do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
