Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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