that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
