Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize