Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
