i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
