I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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