i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
