Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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