return my video game
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize