I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Your penis caused this!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
