I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
