You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
