Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
