Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
