gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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