In the future we'll all be gay
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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