I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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