it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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