Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize