Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
tell me about the fingering
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
