All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
