No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
True college students do jello shots in the library
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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