oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
