My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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