I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
