I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I need a beard to bite.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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