it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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