Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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