grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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