Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
