loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
