we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize