Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
