TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
