How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
