why didn't you poke me back
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
